lonely lovely city

lonely lovely city

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Quitting

I wonder if anyone reads, or even remembers what this blog was intended to be about, let alone cares about the words that come out of my mind. I have not written in a couple of weeks and it appears as though that I am running out of steam. I used to pour my heart into this. Now, it seems like drudgery.

I have been thinking about transformations. The kind that require a dismissal of behaviors and routines and approaches to decisions. Last night as I was heavily ensconced with Fifty Shades of Grey on my Iphone, I thought about what it might be like to quit Facebook.

I am befuddled as to why certain people that I have not been in contact with for years, others who I am not that interested in speaking with are still on my FB page, posing as interested parties with their invites and tags and random thoughts, when in fact, they are remnants from my past. Why should I care about Facebook if not to hear my own self ruminate about what I like or don't? What purpose does it create other than to get updates of how fabulous my so called friends' lives are and the things and people in them. I shake my head, partly in disgust, but also in amusement that is monopolizes much of my precious time, and yet leads to nothing significant or monumental.

I googled quitting Facebook this morning as I ate my greek strawberry yogurt with my air conditioner blasting in my direction. I wonder if I pressed the delete button would anyone would notice. At this stage in life, I think I know who my true friends are. I know they are just a click or a call away. I keep thinking about the notion of FB and what it implied if I left. Would my life be richer or less dramatic?

Last year, I surrendered my cable service at the advice of a friend. A week ago, I deleted all of my dating profiles online and have chosen (for now) to address the dating scene and what not in a natural whatever kind of way. Both have so far shifted my life in a productive way. So, what would be so terrible about not caring and pressing delete on my FB account? I have tried to do it a few times, but can't bring myself to commit to the action.

Its like I am afraid of not being in touch with others the old fashioned way, letters and emails and actual phone calls. I know, it might seem that I am regressing, knowing all too well that I need to let this go and make a solid decision accordingly.